Irina: Self Portraits

I had my daughter in 2013. A few months into raising her I started noticing I was never in photographs. Her dad had beautiful photos, my parents, our friends did, etc. But me? I was always the one taking the photos. Most people just shrug their shoulders and say “I dunno, I just like to live in the moment, I don’t care about photos that much anyways.” Which is ironic because likely they get the privilege to not worry about this because their life IS being documented by someone. It’s only when you see how much you’re not photographed that it becomes important.

WHERE WILL OUR CHILDREN FIND US?

And so years went by where I didn’t have ANY candid photos with my baby, certainly none by myself unless I was snapping a selfie in a bathroom mirror. And it broke my heart. I thought of all the women that were sacrificing, loving and caring for their families and they were INVISIBLE in their life’s story.

When their kids would look for them in photographs what would they find?

A car selfie here and there? Doubt anybody’s printing those these days. No, these photos would get lost in the digital attic of our lives. No wonder so many women are hesitant to be photographed. You get neglected long enough, you start to feel like you’re not worthy of it.

And so an idea formed in my mind. I thought – “What if no one is coming to save me. What if I did that for myself. What if the way out of this problem is for me to save myself. And more so than that, what if in the process of saving myself, I take other women up with me?” That is how my career as a photographer began. With a small quiet dream in the broken heart of a disappearing mom.

At first I had ZERO photography skills so I couldn’t even find people to photograph for free. So I photographed myself. It was the only subject I had at my disposal – and the process helped me discover the magical, transformative power of being SEEN, of the process of creating something beautiful. The experience of becoming art. It was intoxicating.

And as the years went by, I began to get clients, I opened my own studio within my own home and eventually I started doing it full time. I could still burst into tears and the WONDER that is that I do this for a living. That I get to go to a job that sets my soul on fire. And all it took was for me to be brave enough to demand more from life.

FINDING MYSELF IN THE PROCESS

And while most days I’m busy photographing clients, I still make time to photograph myself. To make sure there is ART with me in it in this world. In fact, the worse I feel mentally, the more a self portrait session heals me. This process of healing is why I’m so convinced every woman should be in photographs. I know what it feels like to look at a photograph of yourself and see beauty. And I know the many ways that confidence and reassurance reverberates in other aspects of life. How you carry yourself with confidence thru other aspects of day to day life.

I hope you’re being photographed by loved ones. I hope there are photos of you playing with your kids, doing what you love, I hope the photos are silly and beautiful, I hope you look back at your life and feel seen. But if you don’t, if documenting your life feels hard, and you don’t know where to begin, I’m here to help you. Because I remember. I remember what it felt like to ask myself “Does my life matter? Does being here matter? Will anyone remember I existed, I loved, I lived?”

It’s why I photograph such a wide variety of genres. Because from the very beginning it was never about niching down and specializing, only shooting weddings or only shooting families. It was always, and always will be, about telling the stories of the women around me. Everything I do, everything I photograph has WOMEN at the center. And for good reason – we are the gravity holding everything we love together – it’s only natural that my life’s work follows your journey.

So when you feel ready – I am here to honor your life. For photos with your family, for empowerment, for weddings, when you’re a seniors, for personal branding – whatever season of life you’re in, I am here to make sure you exist. And that the proof you lived is beautiful and REAL and unapologetic.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

I’ll end with the inspiring words of Sue Bryce: “Exist in photographs. Exist in photographs – for your children, for yourself, for the people that love you. It’s not about you, it’s about the person that one day looks back at a photograph in 20 years time and says “Look at this photograph, look what we own, this is more priceless than anything my family could ever buy.” One day your children will look for you in photographs. What will they find?”

XOXO Irina

If you’d like to schedule a photoshoot of your own or discuss budget feel free to reach out! I would love to bring your vision to life.