Summer

 I don’t exactly know when I went from being “silly-no-need-to-worry-there’s-plenty-of-time-laaaater” Irina to “stressed-sleep-deprived-work-hard-hustle” Irina.

It was so subtle.

A night spent editing until 3-4 am here and there, a few hours spent polishing an article instead of going to the lake with my family… next thing I know I found myself red-eyed, eternally tired and filled to the brim with something I never quite experienced before – ANXIETY.

My nights of decadent sleep filled hours were replaced by this wide eyed trance of self doubt, what ifs and panic.

I forgot why I loved being a photographer and got caught up in the bullshit business of trying to appear a certain way to the outside world. I consumed myself with fear of what everyone might be saying about me. Jealous of others instead of encouraging… I had utterly lost myself in this job.

So I decided to stop.

You see, I don’t want to just exist. I want to LIVE.

I took on less photography work this whole month, took the summer off from my part time and for the past four days I did nothing but sleep, eat, hang out with my people and play with my kiddo.

I feel human again.

I really do. My creative spirit is coming back to life and for the first time in a long time, I feel fired up, excited and passionate. I feel like the very best version of myself.

And, friends? That’s all anyone could ever ask for in this crazy hectic life.

May you find your fire and may you never lose it. ❤️